That's Right, Not Monorail, I said Monowheel!

Kathe sent me a link to a delightfully thorough page about monowheel vehicles (not unicycles, please, because these have their motive power on the inside of the wheel).

Alas, it left out my all-time favorite monowheel, the Blackhawks' legendary War Wheel.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "You can't have everything -- where would you put it?"\\

Thank You, Ron Wyden

You filibustered in favor of a very good thing.

And you did it the old-fashioned way, by actually standing there and talking with your own personal voice.

Good for you.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "There is no substitute for sincerity."\\

Saipan is a Beautiful Place

But terrible things happen there.

Women in China and India are lured in by promises of jobs in the United States, only to find themselves on a remote island, with no way to get home, working at jobs where they make products marked MADE IN USA but lack the normal wage and safety protections of American workers.

Assuming they aren't simply forced into prostitution.

Whether they labor in the factories or in the brothels, some of them inevitably get pregnant -- and are forced to get abortions.

And who can we thank for this state of affairs, all taking place under the Stars and Stripes? Why, the defenders of family values, of course!

Strange side note: as I said, this abuse is mainly suffered by women from the mainland, not native-born inhabitants of the Marianas -- who are mostly of German ethnicity.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Things happen."\\

The Ants Are My Friends, They're Blowin' in the Wind...

Kathe sent me a link to a very funny post about ants in the kitchen, which made me think about our own relationship with ants over the years.

We bought Lemony Death This and Jasmine Genocide That for years. Sometimes it worked, though never the way it was supposed to.

Our favorite was the sweet syrup bait that we were supposed to put out on little slips of cardboard, for the hungry ants to carry home and feed to the queen, thereby innocently killing her and dooming their family.

They carried it away by the spoonful, all right, but showed no sign of dying from it. On the other hand, they liked the bait so much that they stopped coming into the kitchen proper, contenting themselves with supping at the bait stations. That was fine by us, and we would have been happy to go on bribing them with the stuff (or Mrs. Butterworth's, if they preferred), but then they stopped responding to it. Oh, well.

Last summer, the ant activity was very modest, through no action of ours. Who knows what it will be in the coming months? Probably not even the ants know.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "When you start talking about what the ants know...."\\

This Is Not A Joke

It only sounds like postmodern satire. Bush really has hired Fox News talking head Tony Snow to be White House Press Secretary.

The phrase "interlocking directorate" comes to mind.

On the upside, did you know that state legislatures can impeach the President? Cool! Where's Oregon on this one?

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Appearances can be...weird."\\

A Center of Crisis, Indeed

The saddest part is, groups like this actually provide a valuable service to people who choose to enter them fully informed.

The problem, of course, begins with the clause "enter them fully informed".

Human perversity continues to dismay me.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "The world is dark enough -- don't create more obscurity."\\

April 29th

Are you going to be there?

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "I am everywhere."\\

I Like Randi Rhodes (and Net Neutrality)

What can I say? I'm a sucker for the cheap, obvious things: blonde hair, big knockers and thinking that letting Bush start a nuclear war is a bad idea.

Oh, by the way: making Internet access a corporate privilege in both directions, no less, is also a bad idea.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Me, too."\\

365 New Superheroes

Or there will be, eventually.

I've decided to start a new blog, at which I will post one new superhero for each day of the next year.

No particular reason to. Nobody asked me for them. Just felt like it.

//The magic 8-ball says, "Why not?"\\

Which Organelle Are You?

TABLE cellPadding=20 align=center>


Mitochondria
You scored 80 Industriousness, 32 Centrality, and 7 Causticity!

You're a mitochondrion! The mitocondria is a "power plant" of the cell. Nothing could ever get done in the cell without you creating energy. Since both the Citric Acid cycle and Oxidative Phosphorylation happen inside the mitochondria, you are critical to every eukaryotic cell. You are always a hard worker, no matter what you are tasked to. Most of the time, you tend to be working in the background, but that often suits you just fine. You get along with almost everyone, and aren't these the most important things?

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 88% on Industriousness You scored higher than 44% on Centrality You scored higher than 0% on Causticity

Link: The Which Cell Organelle are you? Test written by fading_shadows on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Language Lesson

Tesfaye and the girls have lived in the U.S. for almost twelve years now, but once in awhile I'll still notice gaps in their English mastery.

The other day, I had to explain to Tes the phrase "rats deserting a sinking ship", and poiinted out the double-value of the metaphor: not only do you get to compare an organization in trouble to a sinking ship, but you also get to call its fleeing staff "rats".

And at times, the latter is especially gratifying.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Schadenfreude is safe only in small doses."\\

A Sign From Above

I paid tuition today,and while I was writing the check, my cell phone went off. While I answered the call and tried to finish writing the check, the clerk glared at me and said, "Please step to one side, and we can finish this when you're done with your call."
Startled, I looked over my shoulder and confirmed that there was nobody behind me, nobody anywhere in the corridor. Shrugging, I finished the call, handed over the check, apologized for inconveniencing the clerk (answered with a turned shoulder) and left, slowly growing more irritated with the clerk.
Oh, well, doubtless she's been offended by cell phoners who really did inconvenience her and other people in line. She was just taking it out on the latest cell phone user. Don't take it personally.
Um, right? Or not....
Driving towards my next stop of the day, I pulled up behind a liquid nitrogen tank truck. High on its rear end I saw the sign:
"Venting is normal".
Well, all right, then.

From Kathe comes a way to get some enjoyment out of those wretched cats-in-a-sack online arguments.

From Jake comes a link to a delightful site where they offer model kits that I would have sold my soul for when I was nine. Actually, they still look pretty good to me. Maybe after I'm done with nursing school....

From Hogan's Alley comes a link to a creepily cute new comic strip, Lio.

And from a hopeful e-mailing robot comes an appeal to sign a petition asking Congress to get cracking on the rebuilding of New Orleans, and crony contracts be damned.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "When life hands you lemons...."\\

Boo Hoo

From Kathe: "Bad news; the Oklahoma cannibal/pedophile killer gets more comments on his blog than you do. And it isn't even very interesting. Maybe they're his friends."

Tina Kotek, running for state Representative for the 44th District (North Portland). If I lived in her district, I'd vote for her, and if I had any money, I'd give her some, and if she were passing through Corvallis I'd rub her shoulders. She seems to be a good person, and ought to be able to do some good for her district, and for Oregon. And it will sure show all those boys who made fun of her name in the Fourth Grade.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Comparisons are odious."\\

Recognition Software

The Pro-Choice Public Education Project sounds like a worthy cause to me. Visit their site for yourself and see what you think.

I also think that Onward Oregon's mock primary sounds like a good idea, although maybe they should call it an "election simulator", or somthing. We've had enough mockery of democracy under the current administration.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Stop. Look. Think. Then act."\\

Happy Easter (amended)

Have a sweet day.

And a post-Easter update, in an e-mail from Kathe:

Roman Soldier: Spear hits Jesus for 15 damage.
Roman Soldier: Spear crits Jesus for 78 damage.
Jesus: Stunned.
Jesus: Dies.
[General] Jesus says: OMG HAX!
[Party] Jesus says: DAD, U NOOB PRIEST! REZ!!!!
[Party] Yahweh says: ...3 day cooldown. =(

Posted by: Dustin | April 16, 2006 07:39 PM (on Pharyngula)

This reminds me of the time I read the AD&D supplement _Deities and Demigods_ and immediately wrote up a character profile for Jesus, complete with +5/+7 Terrible Swift Sword (not peace but) and 40th-Level Thief (in the night) skills.

I'm sure other gamers have written worse.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Tsk, tsk."\\

"Oncology Class is Tough!"

But if Barbie can become a nurse, surely I can, too.

Elsewhere in the news:

Thesaurus Rex, posting at Shakespeare's Sister, introduces us to the word "Christiopath". Many Christians would take offense at this word, even though it isn't aimed at them, but take the word apart and see for yourself:" it doesn't say that Christianity is pathological, it says that some people's behavior is harmful to Christianity. And it certainly well is.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "You should come around here more often."\\

One more from Kathe:

"Our president: consistent in his lawless behavior from the great offenses to the small:

iPodgate
| posted by Shakespeare's Sister | Monday, April 17, 2006 |

BoingBoing via Agitprop:

'President Bush's iPod contains songs by the Beatles; since no Beatles songs have been licensed for the iTunes Music Store yet, these must have come from ripped CDs. Remember last February, when the RIAA told a federal agency that ripping CDs is illegal? I wonder if they'll bring charges.'"

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Signs point towards no."\\

There's Something on Your Pharyngula

No, actually, two things.

One of them is a veeeeery long timeline -- in both senses.

The other is a veeeery strange "reality" show.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Take care of your pharyngula and your pharyngula will take care of you."\\

That Explains It

Kathe sent me, by way of Pharyngula, Douglas Adams' perfect statement of the Anthropic Principle:

…imagine a puddle waking up one morning and thinking, 'This is an interesting world I find myself in, an interesting hole I find myself in, fits me rather neatly, doesn't it? In fact it fits me staggeringly well, must have been made to have me in it!'

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Makes just as much sense, doesn't it?"\\

A Scary Movie

No, I mean Really Scary.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Once again, I'm glad I'm in here, and not out there with you guys."\\

Don't Nuke Iran

Dear Rulers:

No more wars until you've finished the ones you already started!

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Don't be greedy."\\

Go Talk Pretty

At Pandagon, they've been making merciless and well-deserved fun of a blithering twit who is rather down on people who use contraception. They're especially amused by her habit of referring to such persons as "contracepting".

One commentor, Karpad, says "It’s like HR people who created the word 'incent,' as in, 'We need to incent our employees to keep working hard.' Or worse, 'incentivize.' "

First they came for the verbs, and I said nothing, because verbing weirds language.
Then they arrival for the nouns, and I speech nothing because I no verbs.

Well, one can hardly expect a person who's so poor on rationality to be well up on grammar.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Hmph."\\

The Reverse the Raid on Student Aid Act of 2006

Catchy name, huh?

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Huh."\\

Mother's Day

...was not invented by greeting card companies:

Arise then...women of this day!
Arise, all women who have hearts!
Whether your baptism be of water or of tears!
Say firmly:
"We will not have questions answered by irrelevant agencies,
Our husbands will not come to us, reeking with carnage,
For caresses and applause.
Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn
All that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy and patience.
We, the women of one country,
Will be too tender of those of another country
To allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs."

From the bosom of a devastated Earth a voice goes up with
Our own. It says: "Disarm! Disarm!
The sword of murder is not the balance of justice."
Blood does not wipe out dishonor,
Nor violence indicate possession.
As men have often forsaken the plough and the anvil
At the summons of war,
Let women now leave all that may be left of home
For a great and earnest day of counsel.
Let them meet first, as women, to bewail and commemorate the dead.
Let them solemnly take counsel with each other as to the means
Whereby the great human family can live in peace...
Each bearing after his own time the sacred impress, not of Caesar,
But of God -
In the name of womanhood and humanity, I earnestly ask
That a general congress of women without limit of nationality,
May be appointed and held at someplace deemed most convenient
And the earliest period consistent with its objects,
To promote the alliance of the different nationalities,
The amicable settlement of international questions,
The great and general interests of peace.

-- Julia Ward Howe, 1870

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "My mother the bowling ball would approve."\\

Dear Bill

Express your thoughts to the late Rev. William Sloane Coffin.

You could do worse things with your time.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Good idea."\\

A-Ha!

from the Green Knight (http://thegreenknight.blogspot.com/):

" 6-6-6 "

"F - O - X " Upon checking the letters of FOX "News" the first letter--F is the 6th letter of the alphabet, the second letter--O is the 15th, 1+5=6, and X is the 24th, 2+4=6. OH MY GOD ! FOX=666. Coincidence ?

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "There are no coincidences [cue ominous music]."\\

Cutting Out The Middleman

WASHINGTON — President Bush nominated infinitely rapacious cosmic entity Galactus on Thursday to be his new interior secretary.

If confirmed by the Senate, Galactus, 11 Billion, will replace Gale Norton, who resigned last week.

Bush said Galactus, Third Force of the Universe and Devourer of Worlds, wields the Power Cosmic and has broad experience needed for eating the 388 parks of the National Park system, 544 wildlife refuges and more than 260 million acres of multiple-use lands located mainly in 12 Western states, in addition to the rest of the planet.

"Galan understands that those who live closest to the land know how to manage it best, and he will begin preparations to digest our planet immediately," Bush said.

Galactus promised to construct giant machines in the heart of Manhattan in order to "suck the very essence from the land and consume the natural resources with which your planet has been blessed."


from mountainofjudgment.blogspot.com , by way of Kathe.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "What's Middleman's secret identity?"\\

By the Sweat of Your Eyeballs

Noah T. Winer of MoveOn invites you to watch Sunday morning talk TV, and then kvetch about the blatant conservative bias thereon.

Well, if you really want to....

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Somebody has to do it."\\

The George W. Bush Childhood Home

Take a look.

Do you believe that the scion of New England aristocrats ever lived in this house?

Or is this log cabin as phoney as Andover George's Texan accent?

//The Magic-8-Ball says, "Maybe it's the gatehouse."\\

Suited to the Occasion

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Truer words...."\\